I Can't Adult! Sermon 6/28/15

Given at Emerson Unitarian Universalist Church of Houston on June 28, 2015

Working from a place of playfulness, we had sermon bingo cards with fabulous prizes, choose your own adventure hymns, a time for all ages to share their childhood lovies, and our readings included Hyperbole and a Half's This Is Why I'll Never Be an Adult and Shel Silverstein's Listen to the Mustn'ts.

The aisle signs in grocery stores can be helpful--and existential. I saw one that said Adult Cereal.
I wondered --Is this cereal X-, or just R-rated? What shape are those puffs? Maybe it just has adult themes like… cannibalism or estate planning.

And yes, Kids Cereal was also an option. Careful investigation revealed that Kids Cereal means sugar and prizes and fun shapes and colors. Adult Cereal means… fiber.

Growing up is supposed to be Good For You. Make the sensible multigrain choice and don’t let it bother you that it’s beige and boring and an awful lot to chew.

Answer your email. Go to the bank and the grocery store. Clean all the things. Work. Pay the bills. Run the errands.
And do it all again tomorrow.

Above all, be mature. Mature is black slacks, polished shoes, matching socks. Mature is always on task, and serious all the time.

Who wants to sign up for all of that?? Truly, if it’s about drudgery and misery and never-ending responsibility, I Can’t Adult.

I am a proud member of Generation X. Born from the early 60s to the early 80s, we are stereotyped as disaffected slackers with a propensity toward flannel. Our generation came of age between wars and our parents were more likely to be dual income or even divorced. We were called the latch-key kids.

At this point, the youngest GenXers are in their thirties, and my oldest compatriots have hit their fifties. We’re old enough that our music shows up on Classic Rock stations. Heck, I am getting to the point where I’m looking forward to IHOP Senior Specials. And yet…

I used to think that I would wake up one morning and adulthood would make sense. Somehow I would have downloaded some sort of Competence program and instantly, I would be able to DEAL WITH IT.

In the meantime, a lot of us feel like we are faking it at being grown-ups. That at any second someone will discover us for the quivering frauds we are.


And here’s the secret—this isn’t just my generation. Many people older than I am have admitted to these same feelings…maybe not as loudly, and with a little less flannel.

Paul, in a letter to the Corinthians, says,

 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

Every time I read Paul’s letters, I find myself arguing with him. In this case, why is childish such a bad thing?

Let’s start with the childish things we shared at the beginning of the service—our comfort objects. The stuffed animals and favorite pillows and blankets—these things serve a real purpose when life is hard. When you are terrified by illness and chaos, mourning losses both personal and global, you need some comfort. Something soft is a sweet start.Our culture tells us to deny ourselves comfort—that’s ridiculous. The Inherent Worth of Oneself gets lost in the to-do lists, the laundry, the needs of the baby the job the bills the struggle.

Yes, we must be careful that our comfort does not abuse another or ourselves, but it is also abusive to stick to stoicism, and to a rugged individualism that says you must handle it all yourself.

What if what we set aside was the Mythology of Grown-up and instead embrace some of these childish things?

As we reflect, know that I’m do not mean Misplaced Nostalgia—we’re not going back to an ‘easier time’—life is always challenging at all ages and stages, and childhood is not always happy. But what do we abandon when we leave childhood? What is dismissed as unimportant that might actually be a strength?

Edwin Friedman, a rabbi and therapist, was a real expert on how people tick and the various illusions that many of us believe to be true. One of these myths is that seriousness is deeper than playfulness.

Being playful is important. It is creative and freeing and welcoming. And as Friedman puts it, “playfulness can get you out of a rut more successfully than seriousness.”

So we have this Sunday service with bingo cards. A webcomic as a reading. Heck- there’s a word scramble in your order of service, and coloring pages to take home.

Playfulness opens us to JOY. How often do we let ourselves be really and truly happy, even if in tiny doses. There should be no waiting for someday when it comes to joy. Celebrate whatever you can. Children celebrate their birthday, their half-birthday, new shoes, pancakes, puddles, caterpillars.


And joy often accompanies Wonder.

<excerpt from Clark Dewey Wells's You Be Glad At That Star>

Be curious.
Forever learning.

As Unitarian Universalists, we hold that revelation is ongoing—new truths are always being revealed. When we throw on blinders, when we declare ourselves to be done learning, we hold in our very humanity.

Ours is a faith of Lifespan Learning-book clubs and adult religious education, and so many of us are reading or taking classes or discovering a new hobby. Most of our Sunday school teachers tell me that they sign up not because they feel obligated, but because they always learn something from the experience—from the curriculum and from the children and youth in the room.

Life will always have uncertainty. A spirit of curiosity keeps us vibrant and gives us hope.

And boy howdy, but we need hope.

Our five-year old selves knew that we could sing and dance and paint and be astronaut cowboy doctor unicorn-riding rock stars.

Somehow, over the years, many of us give these things up—pared away by scarcity of time but also by criticism and self-doubt.

We are continuously chastised for being Too Much and Not Enough

Have you ever been told that you are too loud?
Not talented enough?
Too angry?
Not ambitious enough?
Too weird?
Not happy enough?
Too pushy?
Not attractive enough?
What else?

And the lower your prestige and privilege, the more you get these messages. Stay in your place. Keep your head down. Do not cause trouble.

Dear ones—you are not too much. You are you and that is good and that is more than enough. And yes, I will write you that as a note if you need it, for your mirror or your wallet or your Facebook wall.

In the 1976 film Network, newscaster Howard Beale delivers that iconic line-
“I’m as MAD AS HELL and I’m not going to take it anymore!”

That, my friends, is the default setting of a young child. As little ones, we throw tantrums when we are angry, we wail when we are sad or hurt or afraid.

Over the years, our culture socializes us to tone it down. Be polite. Keep the peace. Girls, especially, are told they cannot show anger...or people won't like you. Boys are told that tears are an unacceptable show of weakness—Man Up.

Oof.

Are any of us allowed an honest expression of our emotions? Can we say what we think, or must we carefully couch our terms and remain so reasonable? Be polite. It is a calmer existence, but it values the status quo over change, manners over justice.

Children are passionate beings and fairness is critically important to them. Yes, this starts with the personal—Mom, he got a bigger piece of cake than me! But they pay careful attention to wider issues—they notice how people are treated, and they are so very disturbed to see injustice. They do not minimize or reason it, pointing out the complexity of the situation. They see that it is wrong, and they want to know why, and how it might be fixed.

Using this passionate eye to justice, let’s return to that Network quote with a bit more context.




That’s a 1976 film. A whole lot of it still applies. What else comes to mind?

*Black Lives Matter – the extrajudicial executions of people of color by police, the burning of six African American churches in the past week, the assassination of an African American senator minister and eight other souls in an AME church in Charleston and still the Confederate Flag flies?

*While the Obergefell decision brings marriage equality across the land, many LGBTQ people are still denied basic rights of fair employment, life, and dignity. Trans folk, especially trans women, are being killed for who they are, then misgendered in police reports and the news. Nearly half of homeless teenagers are homeless because their parents kicked them out when they came out.

*Americans are increasingly financially insecure. Laid off when oil prices drop or industry moves elsewhere, buried in spiraling student debt, caught in stagnant wages. The minimum wage in 1976 went up to $2.30 …adjusted for inflation, that’s a little over $9/hr today. Better than our current $7.25.

When faced with the hurts and seemingly insurmountable problems of the world today, it is so very easy to flail, and to curl up in a ball in our safe living rooms. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel powerless and oh so small—I Can’t Adult! What can one person do?

This despair comes when I believe the lie of independence, a myth both pernicious and paralyzing. We all need help. We all need connection—to be part of an endeavor, to have friends, and to be held in circles of caring.

And big goals need many hands and many hearts and many minds. On the front of every order of service, on our website, our newsletter, you will find Emerson UU Church’s statement of identity— Our beloved community of faith, reason, and affection welcomes all to grow in mind and spirit as we build a better world.

Cindy Beal, one of my wise colleagues, reminds us that

The arc of the moral universe bends toward justice, and usually it's because we bend it….
The goal of justice has to be all of us, my people. And what if our goal was to create a society in which no one ever had to say "Stop killing us."
Every single person deserves dignity, respect, and physical, mental, and even emotional and spiritual safety and embodied joy. Yes, joy. We can set goals that are based on healthy embodied joy. That's what I'm aiming for.

Can you imagine a world where we set goals based on the healthy embodied joy of every person?

Embracing the strengths of childhood, of playfulness and joy, wonder, and authentic emotion, honoring our passion for justice, how might we build that better world? What do our five-year old selves call us to do?

Many things.

One, of course, is our upcoming LGBTQ Wedding Day—around the church you’ll find these gray panels of paper. Before you leave today, please draw a happy picture or write your congratulations to the couples who will be married here two weeks from yesterday. The papers will become the window coverings in rooms upstairs where these couples will make the final preparations for their long awaited ceremonies.

Out in the Gathering Place we’ve got a sign-up table for volunteers, with opportunities before and during the event, a chance to use your favorite or long-neglected talents and passions to bring joy to others.

And next Sunday, the Reverend Chuck Freeman will be in this pulpit, to share the uniquely Texan story of Mary and James Billings, Universalists who spread their message of justice over a hundred years ago, and more on our Texas Unitarian Universalist Justice Ministry, working with state legislators to bring about equality, peace, and compassion in this vast and complicated state.

In the meantime, dream big and talk with others here—what makes your heart sing with possibility? How will you share your joy and wonder with a world that needs it?

Summer Projects

The last day of school here was May 28th. 

My teen sons settle into new routines easily, and they're happily considering what they'd like to do this summer.
Beyond playing video games until their eyes bleed...

Rumor has it that firstborn will be making the squid body pillow and using his Raspberry Pi for a project I have yet to comprehend.

Secondborn has been going through his science lab kits, making note of the dangerous chemicals. He'd really like to work on fire starting, but not when there's no adult at home. 

So his project today was a first attempt at a flower press. The wood is plaques they made years ago when we were studying the Jewish and Christian Bibles. Both boys chose Judge Not for their enscription, not as a grand theological statement, but because it was the shortest option available. 

A Theology of #SexUUality

Unitarian Universalists have a long history of courage in tackling issues around human sexuality—from campaigning for human rights, to pioneering innovative work in the Our Whole Lives sexuality curriculum… join #UUs this month for a discussion of sex–the challenging parts, the beautiful parts, the spiritual parts, and even the downright goofy parts. UU or not, everyone is welcome to join in the conversation this month at #sexUUality

Most Sunday School offices have shelves of curriculum binders, books, and other resources. Years ago, inventorying my inherited cabinet, I found fifty-three Bibles, a half dozen recycling guides, most every UUA curriculum... and then I came across what looked like a small black laptop bag. The label on the front was something nondescript like "Educator Kit."

I unzipped the bag and laughed as a wooden "condom demonstrator" and a dozen condoms fell to the floor.  Further investigation showed a wider variety of contraceptives and other resources.

In partnership with the United Church of Christ, the Unitarian Universalist Association puts a lot of resources into producing Our Whole Lives (OWL), a comprehensive sexuality education program for people at all ages and stages of life. The materials are fact-based, facilitator training is required, and there's a strong emphasis on community-building and dialogue.

In our current social climate of purity education, legislation against women's reproductive rights, and so much discrimination, faith-based sexuality education can seem a ridiculous combination.

But I assure you--this is deeply theological work. Speaking to what is most dear, most joyous, most painful in our lives--the sublime and the messy, sometimes all in the same moment. It is difficult, maybe even impossible, to embody our values without a healthy and moral understanding of our sexuality.

As a Unitarian Universalist religious professional, I am called to be a theologian. And that theology must affirm all people, with their full selves. 
Engage!

Unitarian minister and theologian James Luther Adams explained the qualities of liberal religion--commonly referred to as the Five Smooth Stones of Liberal Religion*.

I asked my blogging community if anyone had applied the five stones to a UU theology of sexuality- a fellow blogger quipped that it might be like adding "in bed" to your fortune... let's see how it lines up. For this exercise, I'm borrowing quick snippets from an Adult Ed resource- text in bold is either a quote or a quick restating of JLA's** key concept.

Revelation is ongoing - We are always learning more about our own sexuality, about our communities, and how we can do better at building a world where we are all affirmed for our full authentic selves. And there's definitely no single Gospel truth to sexuality. PASS.

"All relations between persons ought ideally to rest on mutual, free consent and not on coercion." AMEN. This right here is ginormous and worth every blog post I could write for the rest of my life, especially when we're talking sexuality. So much of the OWL values and sessions speak directly to this point. PASS

I'm going to group these next three, as that's how they play out in my mind...

"The moral obligation to direct one's effort toward the establishment of a just and loving community" - We are called to work for justice.

"we deny the immaculate conception of virtue and affirm the necessity of social incarnation." We can't just assume that it's all going to work out--we make it happen. 

"...resources (divine and human) that are available for the achievement of meaningful change justify an attitude of ultimate optimism." There is hope, and the systems and possibilities to make that hope feasible.

The existence of OWL, the many amazing sermons and resources we have created, the important advocacy work we have done as individuals, congregations, and as an association, and the affirmations we make in our relationships with one another--these all speak to a commitment to justice and making change, with real hope and passion.    PASS

This post is only a starting point--but this was a February project--the month is nearly over.  I welcome questions and suggestions, knowing our truths are forever unfolding.





*You can find the full Adams essay, "Guiding Principles for a Free Faith" in the collection On Being Human Religiously. It's a dense but interesting collection. You can preview the essay here. (By the way--that Five Smooth Stones allusion was chosen by his editor. Please don't cast stones at me or James.)

**Yes, I still think Justice League of America when I see this acronym.

(Warning- Crude Language--and Philosophy)

We watched Guardians of the Galaxy again tonight and I was struck by individual lines, and the full picture they put together. A lot of fun, and some sweet wisdom.

Peter AKA Starlord is a scamp, rarely on the right side of the law. But when he realizes that a truly evil dude is coming to attack a planet, he needs to do something--so he writes a letter to an officer (Rhomann Dey) who's arrested him a few times.

Here's a favorite piece- bleeped just a bit so it doesn't set off your net nannies.

Rhomann Dey: He said that he may be an... "a-hole". But he's not, and I quote, "100% a d!ck".

Nova Prime Rael: Do you believe him?

Rhomann Dey: Well, I don't know if I believe anyone is 100% a d!ck...

Nova Prime Rael: Do you believe he's here to help?

Rhomann Dey: ...Yeah, I do.

(This transcript taken from IMDB.)

I am all over the idea that there is some good in everyone, and that no one is beyond redemption. This movie is a ton of fun, but it's also about very imperfect beings coming together to make things right, and growing into better beings in the process. 

No Quick Fix

The logical piece of my brain keeps trying to figure out some way for the state of this nation to make sense. But some things are too broken, too sick, to complicated, to be quickly and rationally explained. If they were, they would already by fixed.

I saw comments all over Twitter today--interviewers wanting to talk to the white people.
More than one protester asked that white allies hand over the megaphones.

I hear that. As a white woman in the 'burbs, I know this isn't my call.

So I listen and read.
I pray.
I do my best to be open and ready for what might come next.

And by trade I'm a religious educator, so of course I'll share some of what I've been reading-

The Twitter hashtags #AliveWhileBlack and #ICantBreathe and  #EricGarner and #BlackLivesMatter.

So many blog posts and articles- here are just an overflowing handful.
Kiese Laymon's essay of the 'safety' of a Vassar ID
Kai Wright's article on broken windows policing
Fania Davis on an authentic reconciliation process
Yolanda Pierce's Litany For Those Who Aren't Ready for Healing
Tristan D. Lalla's experience fitting a profile last month
This frightening piece on the statistics of deadly force
The science of our bigoted brains

Justice and the Symphony

Today's sermon title was "Finding Courage, William Ellery Channing" -looking at his life and several of the major controversies that required him to find courage (often quite slowly and grudgingly.)  One of my points was that even if he agreed with someone's core ideals, he would shut down completely if their methods were too extreme or chaotic for him.

Sunday morning I woke to this news story, and knew I needed to share it with the congregation. We do not have easy video access in the sanctuary, so my description had to suffice. Several videos are online- here's one.

Last night fifty people purchased tickets to the St. Louis Symphony’s performance of Brahms German Requiem. They put on nice clothes, and took their seats.

As the intermission was coming to an end, two of the people stood and started signing a Requiem to Michael Brown, the young unarmed black man shot by a police officer in Ferguson, Missouri two months ago.

“Justice for Mike Brown is justice for us all. Which side are you on, friend, which side are you on?”

Others in the group joined in the requiem, displayed banners, and joined in a chant – Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter.  And then they peaceably dispersed, no need for ushers or arrests. Video of the event shows some of the audience and the orchestra applauding, others just watching.

“Justice for Mike Brown is justice for us all. Which side are you on, friend, which side are you on?”

William Ellery Channing would have been appalled at this display and this disruption of ‘civilized things’, though let's remember, this happened during intermission, not while the orchestra was performing. But he agreed with the idea to his core—black lives matter. Justice for us all.

KenShuman reminds us - Becoming a peacemaker requires courage, intentionality, & perseverance.  If you decide to become a peacemaker you will have to fight for it in your own life.

Folks, our families, our church, and our world need us to be peacemakers. Let’s find and stay to our courage, and build that better world.  

Can You Isolate A Truth?

A recent article in Christian Century talks about Mennonite theologian John Howard Yoder and his history of sexual misconduct.

Do Yoder’s violations of his own theological claims undermine the content of his theology? Do his sins disqualify him from the major role he has played in modern Christian thought? We certainly understand the seriousness of these questions. It is undoubtedly difficult to know how to receive gifts from sinful people. 

The article goes on at some length, bringing up a double-edged sword--did his abusive behavior exist within Yoder's theology or somehow isolated from it? 

In my day-to-day work, I rarely reference Yoder's work, but I often find myself putting together curricula and their resources.  

One suggests excerpts from a Woody Allen movie. Given the variety of allegations against the writer/director, do I include his insights into family dynamics? Quite honestly, the range of possibilities and ethics and whatnot gives me a headache AND makes me nauseous. And in a week of a thousand decisions, I put a big green question mark in that margin, vowing to come back to it before February.

Must I Practice What I Preach?

Well, heck.

Sunday I preached that we are calling to love the hell out of the world. This week just seems to be kicking us all in the butt with more hell.

Hope seems a limited resources as we weep at the loss of Robin Williams.
Justice seems so very far away with the unbelievable police action in Ferguson, Missouri.

I will admit that a pretty big part of me would like to hide under all of my blankets, curl up in a ball, stick my fingers in my ears, and sing LA LA LA until I fall asleep.

I'm pretty sure I'm not called to do that, but it sure is a seductive image.

What can each of us do to increase hope in the world? Justice?
What can we do together?

Called to Love (Sermon, 8/10/14)

Preached at Emerson Unitarian Universalist Church, Houston, TX.

We started with a pitching practice story for all ages, and an adaptation of Malba Tahan's tale of Mussa and Nagib, or Written on Stone, Written in Sand. The meditation used Kay Ryan's poem Waste, from Say Uncle: Poems.

In our meditation, poet Kay Ryan said that her poems start with an aggravation, and like an oyster, she works through it.

Perhaps the same applies to sermons.

In 2009, quarterback Michael Vick, following his jail time for financing and running a dog-fighting ring, was reinstated in the National Football League.  I was OFFENDED.  I thought he should have to suffer at least as much as those dogs he’d had killed and mistreated. I ranted and raved and stomped my feet.

But somehow I listened a little longer—to the players and coaches saying that everyone needs a second chance.

Don’t you just hate it when football makes you question your motives and your theology? As a Unitarian Universalist, I agree that we all need a second chance… and a third one.. and a fourth one. But I also have a strong pull toward justice, and sometimes I want to call the shots myself.

And then I realized that I needed to stop and think about the times when *I* have refused someone a second chance. When I have not lived up to my own ideals, and when I have missed the mark.

For those of you who know your ancient Greek, missing the mark is the literal translation of the word "hamartia"—this is one of the words the Bible uses for what we call sin.

I’m a sinner.  And guess what – you’re a sinner, too.  We all miss the mark, nearly every day. The only way to avoid it is to stop living.  Sin is like gravity and evolution – you can go ahead and say you don’t believe in it, yet it still exists.

But with the concept of sin come the ideas of forgiveness, making amends, and redemption.  Folks, this is fertile ground – stuff we NEED to embrace in order to live a full life.

And YES, this does relate to Unitarian Universalism.  Our Unitarian forefathers believed that we are created in God’s image – not perfect by any means, but not depraved wretches either.

Our Universalist ancestors held that God loves us unconditionally and NO ONE is damned.  No matter how many times you have missed the mark. 

They rejected the understanding of sin as “Offending God” – God is that (literally superhuman) parent who has such patience and such deep love that there is no offense.

My friends, it is HARD to love unconditionally.  We are wired to react strongly to possible harm and to uphold the norms of our culture—these are our knee-jerk reactions.

But as mature members of society, looking to create a better world… well, getting offended and deciding that WE, personally, can damn anyone who doesn’t meet our high ethical standards?  That’s not going to build beloved community, unless it’s one tiny, grumpy, unforgiving tribe.

As Unitarian Universalists, we claim to honor the inherent worth and dignity of ALL people—to treat people kindly and with respect.  And yes, when there’s an earthquake in Haiti, we rush in to help, to fight for justice – the whole nine yards.  Victims are easy.  But what about the so-called bad guys? 

Viscerally, we want these guys to PAY.  Not just money, but an eye for an eye – VERY Old Testament, isn’t it?  Sure, this could be seen as justice by some, but respect?  Dignity?  No.

And where is that possibility for redemption?

Perhaps this will be easier to consider if we start with our friends and family. And yes, of course we’ll use props.

Who out there still has one of the yarn balls I threw out during the story for all ages?  Bob could you stand?  And three or four people on each side of the aisle around him? We’re going to spend a couple of minutes on an experiment.  Bob is going to hold on to the piece of string with one hand, and throw the ball of string to one of y’all.  Then you will hold that piece tight while throwing the ball to another person.  Got it?  Keep going until I tell you to stop.

What do we do when someone we know sins?  Sometimes, a friend does something pretty bad. Even if we aren’t the ones hurt, we can be so angry and bewildered –what do we do?  Do we always practice unconditional love? 

OK, y’all can stop throwing the yarn around.

Now we’ve got this matrix of string here.  This represents our interconnections—perhaps our family structure or a circle of friends. 

A pretty common occurrence when someone messes up is for people around them to put their hands up and say, “Whoa. I can’t be a part of that.” In doing so, they drop that piece of string (Bob – could you drop yours?).  And so did some others.  (Sara, can you drop yours?)  The whole network can get…messy. Quickly. 

The disconnection here? That is a HELL we create. We deliberately stop being in relationship with someone. It diminishes not just that person’s humanity, but our own.

<Thank those who helped with the string and ask the person who held the ball originally to collect the tangled mess.>

So, our sermon title today is Called to Love.

I know that LOVE is one of those giant words of much misunderstanding, but I’ve already brought up sin and hell and damning today, so let’s just continue with the controversy.

We are not talking about Valentine cards and roses and smooches kind of LOVE today, but this idea of connection.  Sometimes it’s how we stay at the table when someone wrongs us, and sometimes it’s in how we recover after we screw up.

A teacher accidentally hurt a child’s feelings. She sat down with him and worked to figure out how they could better communicate.  Afterwards, she reflected, “This is love in action: a constant shifting of what you knew to what you know, a practice of asking for and extending forgiveness, and a commitment to showing up for each other, even when situations get intense. “ (1)

That’s a pretty good definition of love for me.

Some time ago I read an article in the New York Times (2) that claimed we need to treat our spouses (I’ll extend it to our friends) more like we treat our pets. 

That is, do you greet them happily at the door? 

Do you concentrate more on what you love about them than their faults and how much maintenance they require? 

Or do you have unreasonable expectations, continuing to punish them for something that happened days or years ago? 

To relate back to our second story--Do you write a friend’s failings in the sand and carve their graces in stone?

Things can get even more complicated when people around us are in conflict. Where will we stand?

Well, what if love meant that you did not have to choose sides? That you could continue to love someone even when their actions disappoint you or someone else?

Now I am going to put in the big flashing condition here—no one is telling you to put yourself in harm’s way, or to keep yourself in harm’s way.  And you need to make that judgment call.

If it’s something that is not unsafe BUT makes you deeply uncomfortable, you may be at one of those tipping points of life—what would it mean for you to stay in relationship even when it’s hard?

***

These relationships and strains and conflicts? They don’t just stay at home and in our personal friendships—they also happen at church.

We like to think that people bring their best selves to church and that we would never damn each other in a religious community.  And yet we make assumptions, we hold grudges, and we duck to avoid messy issues.  Heck – this is supposed to be a sanctuary – a place to refill our lamps.  It should be easy and happy -- Please, don’t make us deal with something TOUGH!

In the call to worship this morning, there was a promise—“You do not have to do anything to earn the love contained within these walls.” (3)

And our theological tradition is anything but wimpy – Unitarian Universalist minister Marilyn Sewell reminds us of Dr. Norbert Capek, the minister who gave us the Unitarian tradition of the Flower Ceremony. 

In 1923 he said ‘Let us renew our resolution sincerely to be real brothers and sisters regardless of any kind of bar which estranges… In this holy resolution may we be strengthened knowing that we are God’s family; that one spirit, the spirit of love, unites us.’  He tried his best to love as God loves, and he was so deeply imbued with this value that he was willing to die for it “ (at the hands of the Nazis). (4)

My favorite quote, from Unitarian theologian James Luther Adams-- “Church is a place where we get to practice what it means to be human.” 

Love is a practice, like pitching or singing or anything else we might undertake. There are a multitude of skills within the larger action—bits that are perfectible, with bad habits that can be improved or discarded.

What do YOU need to keep practicing?  Setting aside judgment in favor of support and forgiveness? Or getting away from despair and fear with some courage and confidence?  Do you, like so many of us, struggle with failure, with feeling not worthy?

***

And the world does not stop at our church door—how will we take our beliefs into the streets?  What are our personal and communal responsibilities?

Unitarian Universalist minister and theologian Rebecca Parker (5) offers a historical survey of our responsibilities in this world in terms of our religious purposes and eschatology—our ideas of what happens in the end, as in, after we die.

Common in many religions is the idea of the Social Gospel—we are the hands and feet of God. If you’re an atheist, feel free to translate that as “We are the hands and feet for Good.”

Add to this the Universalist idea of all people being saved—yes, hell had been rejected, but there was debate on that whole saving process. Were souls held for a thousand years of purification or did they get to go straight to heaven?

On the fringe was the idea of Radically Realized Eschatology— heaven is here and now, and we need to reveal it.

I know—the news right now is a mess of wars and fear and warehoused children, of Ebola and climate change and constant political bickering. It seems a whole lot closer to hell than to heaven.

The minister Joanna Fontaine Crawford puts our call another way—Love the hell out of the world.

My friend Amanda, without planning to, did this ministry on her way across town last month. She shares,

What I *wanted* to do was yell at the guy who was slapping his little girls on the bus & speaking to them so horribly.

But then I took a breath & I asked if he needed help.

He said yes...he let me take the tiny sleeping baby so he could hold onto the other two. I gently suggested he just stop. And breathe.

He did.

We all got off the bus. I asked if he felt like he could stop yelling at & slapping the kids, & he said, "Shit. Yeah. I'm turning into my mom."

It would have been far easier for Amanda to add to that man’s hell. I’m sure all of us can consider ways she could have made his day much harder. But somehow she was able to give him that little bit of breath, to help him find his way.

How might YOU love the hell out of the world?

I have a feeling that each of us might come up with something different. And that’s just fine, because heaven knows, there is plenty of work to be done here.

Already, as a church, we do so many things to love the hell out of the world—feeding the stranger through Meals on Wheels, providing those critical second chances through the Houston Drug Court. As we grow as a church and as people of faith, how else will we choose to build the Beloved Community in the world?

And how will each of us take our love into our families, to our friends, and to all those we encounter in the world?

Some days we will each miss the mark. We are not perfect.

And yes, some days we will not feel up to this challenge.

But we are not damned and our perfection is not expected.  We do the best we can, and we strive to be a community where, as Robert Eller-Isaacs says, “We forgive ourselves and each other; we begin again in love.” (6)

Together we build the world we dream about, as we love the hell out of it.

Please rise in body and/or spirit for our closing hymn, #131 in the gray hymnal, Love Will Guide Us.

1:  http://www.tolerance.org/blog/case-love-classroom

2:  http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/02/what-pets-can-teach-us-about-marriage/

3: http://www.uua.org/worship/words/openings/5184.shtml

4:  Marilyn Sewell, “The Inherent Worth and Dignity of Every Person” in With Purpose and Principle: Essays about the Seven Principles of Unitarian Universalism

5: http://www.uuworld.org/spirit/articles/162500.shtml

6:  #367 Singing the Living Tradition

Recycling

Tomorrow morning I'm in the pulpit, and for the first time I'm recycling a sermon.

I don't mean that I'm repeating the same sermon--I've done that before, mostly when I was doing sermon supply. 

No, I'm taking a sermon I wrote four years ago, for a very different congregation, and I'm updating it in some very specific ways. 

When I agreed to an August sermon date, I assumed it would be a pretty quick rewrite.  You know, just make the references more current, and adjust things to match the liturgical style.

But then I considered the personality differences. The congregants' and my own--I'm not the same person I was four years ago. (Thank goodness.)

Not that I sew, but it feels sort of like taking apart an outfit I haven't worn in years, and adjusting it to fit my grown body and new styles.*

After staring at a screen for far too long, I admitted I was stuck, printed the previous version plus my pages of new ideas, and played jigsaw to put it together again.

Cutting out the parts that no longer fit? That hurt. Quite honestly, I excised A LOT. Yes, excising. That's what it felt like. The final product is probably a little short, but it's the summer--no one will mind getting out of the worship service before noon.

It's too soon to say if the recycling is a success, heck, there might still be a 5 AM gutting and rewrite, or an on-chancel ad lib.

But right now I've saved the document and am heading out for the evening. All will be well.


*I'm really hoping this isn't a Pretty in Pink moment, because that dress was HIDEOUS. Chances are I'll post the sermon in the early part of the week. 

Paying For Ministries

Clergy finance is a big topic these days, with articles in magazines, blogs, Facebook conversations and more. Seminary and other formation costs can be staggering, student loans are painful, and churches struggle to pay a professional wage. It's a perfect storm.

And yet in many congregations, ministers have the best compensation package. I would love to see a fuller conversation of compensation and financial wellness for all who work in churches. Yes, as a religious educator, I've got an interest here. But it's also about our music directors, administrative staff, sextons--whatever positions make up each congregation. 

Sure, many (but not all) of these folks haven't been to seminary, but that doesn't mean that they aren't carrying student loans, or that they don't have their own formation expenses which may or may not have been covered by a congregation. And with no faith requirement in most of these positions*, we cannot be expecting a vow of poverty. 

Pragmatically, retaining trained quality staff is critical to the stability of our congregations. 

Theologically, economic justice needs to be practiced in our houses of worship.

The Unitarian Universalist Association's Office of Church Staff Finances has done considerable work. Fair compensation guidelines including not just salary, but parity of benefits, and a full listing of best practices. 
It's a pretty strong list, and the office has different levels of recognition for congregations to strive toward. 


*My experience is with Unitarian Universalist congregations. Other churches/denominations may have a faith statement.