Saturday, February 28, 2015

A Theology of #SexUUality

Unitarian Universalists have a long history of courage in tackling issues around human sexuality—from campaigning for human rights, to pioneering innovative work in the Our Whole Lives sexuality curriculum… join #UUs this month for a discussion of sex–the challenging parts, the beautiful parts, the spiritual parts, and even the downright goofy parts. UU or not, everyone is welcome to join in the conversation this month at #sexUUality
Most Sunday School offices have shelves of curriculum binders, books, and other resources. Years ago, inventorying my inherited cabinet, I found fifty-three Bibles, a half dozen recycling guides, most every UUA curriculum... and then I came across what looked like a small black laptop bag. The label on the front was something nondescript like "Educator Kit."

I unzipped the bag and laughed as a wooden "condom demonstrator" and a dozen condoms fell to the floor.  Further investigation showed a wider variety of contraceptives and other resources.

In partnership with the United Church of Christ, the Unitarian Universalist Association puts a lot of resources into producing Our Whole Lives (OWL), a comprehensive sexuality education program for people at all ages and stages of life. The materials are fact-based, facilitator training is required, and there's a strong emphasis on community-building and dialogue.

In our current social climate of purity education, legislation against women's reproductive rights, and so much discrimination, faith-based sexuality education can seem a ridiculous combination.

But I assure you--this is deeply theological work. Speaking to what is most dear, most joyous, most painful in our lives--the sublime and the messy, sometimes all in the same moment. It is difficult, maybe even impossible, to embody our values without a healthy and moral understanding of our sexuality.

As a Unitarian Universalist religious professional, I am called to be a theologian. And that theology must affirm all people, with their full selves. 

Unitarian minister and theologian James Luther Adams explained the qualities of liberal religion--commonly referred to as the Five Smooth Stones of Liberal Religion*.

I asked my blogging community if anyone had applied the five stones to a UU theology of sexuality- a fellow blogger quipped that it might be like adding "in bed" to your fortune... let's see how it lines up. For this exercise, I'm borrowing quick snippets from an Adult Ed resource- text in bold is either a quote or a quick restating of JLA's** key concept.

Revelation is ongoing - We are always learning more about our own sexuality, about our communities, and how we can do better at building a world where we are all affirmed for our full authentic selves. And there's definitely no single Gospel truth to sexuality. PASS.

"All relations between persons ought ideally to rest on mutual, free consent and not on coercion." AMEN. This right here is ginormous and worth every blog post I could write for the rest of my life, especially when we're talking sexuality. So much of the OWL values and sessions speak directly to this point. PASS

I'm going to group these next three, as that's how they play out in my mind...

"The moral obligation to direct one's effort toward the establishment of a just and loving community" - We are called to work for justice.

"we deny the immaculate conception of virtue and affirm the necessity of social incarnation." We can't just assume that it's all going to work out--we make it happen. 

"...resources (divine and human) that are available for the achievement of meaningful change justify an attitude of ultimate optimism." There is hope, and the systems and possibilities to make that hope feasible.

The existence of OWL, the many amazing sermons and resources we have created, the important advocacy work we have done as individuals, congregations, and as an association, and the affirmations we make in our relationships with one another--these all speak to a commitment to justice and making change, with real hope and passion.    PASS

This post is only a starting point--but this was a February project--the month is nearly over.  I welcome questions and suggestions, knowing our truths are forever unfolding.

*You can find the full Adams essay, "Guiding Principles for a Free Faith" in the collection On Being Human Religiously. It's a dense but interesting collection. You can preview the essay here(By the way--that Five Smooth Stones allusion was chosen by his editor. Please don't cast stones at me or James.)

**Yes, I still think Justice League of America when I see this acronym.

Friday, February 27, 2015

Breakfast and Transformation

Behold - a farm fresh egg, gently fried, served over cheese grits, with a big dot of chipotle Cholula.

Whenever I can, this is what I make for breakfast. Isn't it lovely?

Of course, lovely doesn't get us fed.

The dish becomes delicious when I break the yolk and stir everything together. 

At that point it is far less aesthetically pleasing.                        Indeed, it is MESSY.

Delicious is often messy.

This is true not only of food, but of community. Especially religious community.

If we all showed up pretty and sat carefully and kept to ourselves, we might make a glossy postcard.

But we would miss out on shared talents and sorrows, wisdom and gut-expanding laughter.

Take a chance. Get messy. Be transformed and be delicious.

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Problems We Didn't Know We Could Have

The other day my work email was being bounced by Earthlink and my service provider had to verify this that and the other thing. It was Greek to me and I was just glad when it was handled.

This week the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA)'s new website launched. It's a bold new look and some functions changed. And as anyone who's ever moved can tell you, sometimes it takes a while to realize what you've misplaced and to get everything in the right place. 
404 Error
Style Sheet Not Found

Lots of terms few of us could have imagined twenty years ago.

The UUA's website team is hard at work fixing these slippery bits as quickly as they find them. In the meantime we're learning new ways to navigate to find what we need, or going without for a few days.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Hugging, Boundaries, and The Platinum Rule

The first thing I read this morning was this new-to-me Slate article "I Don't Need a Hug."  I posted it on Facebook with a quick comment about being on the low middle end of general hug appreciation. Not so low as the author of the article, but I found myself agreeing with several of the points.

Over the course of the day there were likes and shares and many comments. I promised that I would blog on the topic this evening. So here goes.

I'm told that many pregnant women have problems with strangers walking up to them and rubbing their bellies. When I was pregnant with twins, not one stranger touched my belly. I broadcast a pretty strong Don't Go There vibe. 

My body is mine, and I like to keep some space around it. When someone I do not much know is touching me more than incidentally, or wrapping around me, I can deal but I get a little twitchy. It wears me out. 

A good friend? Sure, we'll do a hug. Maybe two. I do not need to do the orbit of hugs when I arrive or before I leave a party.

How well do I need to know a person? I tried to come up with some sort of criteria. Someone I've met and gotten to know for X period of time? Well, there are people I know online, and I feel like I know them enough that I'll hug the first time we meet. The best I can figure--I need to know you enough that I'd offer to make you soup when you fall ill.

Have I mentioned that I work for a church? In the South? In a nurturing field? All of these things make for a more huggy (huggier?) atmosphere. 

I spend a lot of time with children. If a child wants a hug, no problem--I can do that. As long as it is their choice. 

It's important for all of us to recognize that power dynamics and consent are a part of hugging, too. Different people have different concerns and conditions they need to feel safe(r). 

The Golden Rule (treat others as you want to be treated) can be trumped by the Platinum Rule (treat others as they want to be treated.) Yes, the Platinum Rule requires communication, and I believe that is worthwhile, especially when we are getting into another's space.

The intertubes are full of articles about the blessings of hugs. How hugs are good for emotional release. But here's the thing--not everyone can just release right where they are. Sometimes a person is barely holding it together, and while yes, a cry or a scream might be in order, they might choose to wait until they are in the comfort of their own home. As much as you might want to help, who is getting their needs met in that situation? Back to the Platinum Rule.

And besides--it's flu season. Get your shots, wash your hands, and practice your favorite parade float wave.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Not Ready To Change

Look! Look! It's a new computer!

I've had my sweet little netbook for most of five years now and it's showing its age--slow, the down arrow doesn't work, and I've bought enough batteries for it.

So spouse told me I was getting a new machine for Christmas. As soon as I figured out what I wanted.

Decisions are hard, y'all.

I finally got this sweet new thing on Thursday.

I've yet to figure out all the bells and whistles, to navigate between touchscreen and touchpad, or the downloading of critical software beyond a few goofy entertainment apps. 

The poor thing is neglected* while I continue to pound out my important works (OK, mostly Facebook updates) on the old comfortable system. 

How often do we stick with the comfortable rather than switching to the new? How much pain is required to push us to change?

*And yes, I have a personification habit.

Monday, February 23, 2015


"Bloom where you're planted," we're told.

That is not always an easy task--we need the right resources, which are so rarely shared equally. What if we're the seed scattered on the hardened path?

The planting piece--beyond our control sometimes.

See the plant growing out of this hole in a rock? It's tenacious in that barren place, or perhaps humus was already in that hole, helping a plant to get established. Still, the plant's unlikely spot reminds us that nature can pretty much handle everything we throw at it.

Whether or not it pleases us, though--that is another question entirely.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

There and Back

 I spent the weekend at a conference in the Hill Country outside Kerrville, Texas. (Which is outside of San Antonio...)

It is quite remote--cell signal was extremely limited, and there's no such thing as a quick trip to the store.

Thankfully the conference organizers had figured out groceries and such, and a couple of days away from the internet don't really need to kill me. Heck--it even gave me a reason to learn how to schedule posts so I could set them up before I left town in the first place.

So I shared meals and hopes and challenges with colleagues, learned from guest speakers and long-known local wise people.

And we had egregiously wonderful weather Saturday, so I took a few nice long walks up actual hills* and looked at actual rocks* and did my best to admire cactus from a distance.

I stood under trees and windmills, tested the cistern/pool with my fingertips, and took silly pictures with the stuffed animal my son sent along on this trip.

And I got some really good sleep.

*Houston is low-lying and near the Gulf coast. We have very few hills or native rocks.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Blog About Sex More Often, and Other Learnings

On February 21, 2014, I decided that I was going to blog every day. Not just do my usual daily writing, but actually HIT THE PUBLISH BUTTON every single day. At the beginning, the goal was 100 days. Somehow I've made it to a year.

Some learnings along the way-

1) Not every day will be Pulitzer material. Or at least, not if I also want to keep my day job, sleep, chat with the people I love, and have some semblance of keeping up with Scandal and Mysteries of Laura. 
(Note to self- you are behind on Mysteries of Laura.)

     1a) Writing should reaaaally start before 11:15 PM. This is not always possible.These are the days where a quick photo reflection goes up.

1b) Drafting ahead is also a good idea, so there are always items in the pipeline. Again, this is not always possible.

2) Including the word "Sex" in a blog title means it will get A LOT more hits and it will continue for months. Even if you never share it on your usual networks. Yes, I still need to put up my #SexUUality post.

3) Labeling your posts is far easier to do daily than to retroactively flip through hundreds of posts looking for likely labels. Maybe if I were more nostalgic for my own words...

4) A "what's on your mind" strategy for a blog is a mixed blessing. On one hand, there are ALWAYS things on my mind. But a certain level of mental processing is needed before publishing--sometimes I have lost the momentum of a current event because I could not get through my rant stage in time to be topical. Or I've put something up while still a bit too ranty.

5) I am a Unitarian Universalist and a religious professional, but I do not generally aim my blog at Unitarian Universalists, or use my Church Lady voice. I definitely do not write these posts as the voice of the congregation I serve. This really cuts down on my acronym usage.

6) A daily blog helps you to see just what keeps coming up. What I'm processing, but also, what I'm baking. It's like I'm trending... on my own little blog.

7) HOLY COW, it's been a year! (Ok, that was a little bit of Church Lady voice, as COW isn't the word in my head.)

Friday, February 20, 2015

Traveling Day!

This weekend is the Midwinter Religious Education Conference for my district. I'll be traveling to UBarU, our retreat center outside of Kerrville, Texas. Time for deep discussions with colleagues, learning with Nick Page, and perhaps a chance for a quiet walk in the very different terrain of central Texas.

There's a good chance I'll have pictures and further elucidation here on Sunday or Monday.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

A Wild Wild Day In Texas

Fifty-one weeks ago I blogged the day that federal judge Orlando Garcia declared the Texas constitutional amendment against same-sex marriage to be unconstitutional.

Four months ago I grumbled here when SCOTUS did not choose to address any marriage equality cases.

Last month it was about the first weddings in Florida, and wishes for the Fifth Circuit hearings to go well.

Last night I looked at the decision in a Travis County (Austin, Texas) probate court, and shook my head at the early celebrations that Texas was suddenly a marriage equality state. I said, "we aren't really any closer to marriage equality than we have been for a year."

This morning I put that post on my Facebook page and moments later saw the news--

A judge ordered the Travis County Clerk to give a marriage license to Sarah Goodfriend and Suzanne Bryant, and the couple wed immediately after. WOW!

Much of the morning was a whirlwind, as we heard more about the story--that no, Travis County wasn't giving marriage licenses to everyone--there was a medical issue. And then the Attorney General started piping up, calling for immediate stays to shut everything down, and going so far as to declare the marriage null and void.

He has ignored two court rulings stating that a Texas law is unconstitutional to tell two women who have loved one another for over three decades, raising two children and now battling cancer, that HE is upholding the law. 

Villainous. Cruel. Utterly unnecessary.

Within four months, I fully expect marriage equality to be the law of the land, here in Texas and across the United States. Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton is not standing on the side of love, or on the side of history.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

When A Headline Doesn't Tell The Story

Tuesday social media had a field day--the state of Texas as a rainbow flag!
People were really excited.

Buuuut, from a practical standpoint, we aren't really any closer to marriage equality than we have been for a year.

What happened-- a county probate judge said that Texas's ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional. Same thing said by another judge a year ago. Arguments were heard in the Fifth Circuit last month and now we're in a holding pattern. The speculation at this point is whether or not the Fifth Circuit will decide, or leave it up to the Supreme Court in June.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Thank Goodness For The Internet

Someone remarked to me that they could not believe the community she had found online--how supportive and tightly bonded a group of people, sharing a specific life event in common.

Finding someone else who really gets it because they have lived it is invaluable. And with a computer and a bit of clicking about, chances are you can find people who've gone what you're dealing with.

Heck, there are support groups for families dealing with exceedingly rare (less than 100 cases recorded) diseases. Chances are these folks would not run into one another at the pediatrician. Thirty years ago they might have met if they traveled to see the same specialist. But over a computer screen, where they can chat in the in-between moments of life and when they can't get back to sleep at 3 AM? That's living in
 the future.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Perspective, via film

The 1974 classic Young Frankenstein is on this evening-

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein
: What a filthy job.
Igor: Could be worse.*
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: How?
Igor: Could be raining. <Lightning and thunder, then downpour>

Thankfully, I'm not robbing any graves this week.
And while it's raining and a cold front came through, there are no feet of snow, no power outages, no school cancellations in these parts.

Life is good.

*Other movies with notable "Could be worse" moments- Fight Club, Life of Brian... what else?

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Fake It 'Til You Make It

On my day off I considered making a true laminated dough--basically, you get a bunch of butter to fifty-five degrees and pound it into flat sheet. Then you roll out your bread dough to be twice that size. Make a butter sandwich. Then you take on a series of rolling and folding and chilling steps, multiplying your layers of butter and dough with each set.

Then there's shaping and proofing and when you finally bake off the dough, not only do you get exquisite richness from the butter, but you get an airy crumb as those layers become distinct.

It takes hours, on top of the hours already involved in the basic dough*. 

I am not that patient. Especially not on my lazy day.

So I faked the process to produce this swirly cinnamon bread.

I rolled out the dough, spread a layer of room temperature butter, sprinkled with a little brown sugar and a generous sprinkling of good cinnamon, and then folded the dough in thirds like a letter.

I turned the dough ninety degrees, rolled it out, and repeated the process with another smear of butter, more brown sugar, more cinnamon. I did this probably four or five times.

No whacking butter, no chilling stages. Maybe fifteen minutes of work total. 

When I was tired of folding, I put the dough into a greased glass pan, and let it proof once more.

Baked it off in a 375 degree oven and was rewarded with this deliciousness.

At least once in my life I will likely do the full lamination thing, if for no other reason than I want to be able to say that I made pain au chocolat.

Until then, well, no one complains when cinnamon bread shows up. 

*My basic dough ingredients these days are something roughly like this:
1.5 cups warm water

1 cup sourdough starter
1/2 t. yeast
2 c. bread flour + extra
1-2 T. salt
1.5 c. whole wheat or white wheat flour
Sometimes I put in a couple tablespoons of oil.

This batch was split between the cinnamon bread and dinner rolls, so I did not put any sugar in the dough. Otherwise, I might have.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

My Dog Lacks Opposable Thumbs

Jess is a youthful twelve years old and she thinks she should be with us at all times. Most distressing to her is knowing that one of us is behind a closed door. 

I just might spend twelve percent of my time opening doors for the dog, and an additional five percent saying, "Just a minute, Jess. I'm coming!" 

It would be more efficient to teach her to open doors. Or just to take all the doors off their hinges.

And then she'd figure out how to open the fridge. Ah. Never mind.

Friday, February 13, 2015


"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Oh, to be as wise as Ferris...

John Hughes wrote the script 30 years ago this month.

Matthew Broderick will be 53 next month. He, Mia Sara, and Jennifer Grey are all raising teens.

And we're still mourning that car.

Thursday, February 12, 2015


I just finished a pretty darned good chocolate lava cake. DARK chocolate, not sweet, gooey, and pretty much no work for me. I preheated the toaster oven and put the disk on a tray. Fifteen minutes later, yum yum yum. 

Oh Trader Joes, your freezer aisles contain so many blessings!

(I assure you, I got some real food there, too. The heirloom tomatoes are amazing, and the haricot vert increase my chance of getting a veggie on the dinner table.)

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Fringe Benefits

A school rents much of the church's religious education wing during the week. It can be a little disruptive sometimes, but in general they're good tenants and the children give good energy. They like to wave to me, to catch my attention when we're in the hall together, and they keep an eye on my door and windows to see what new art I've put up.

Best of all, though, are the periodic dance parties in the classroom next door. Pretty awesome benefit.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Remember in The Fly, where he wore the same outfit every day?

Clothes shopping. Ugh. Not even as a teenager did I understand the allure of going through countless racks of clothes and trying on pieces, trying to find something that looks good, feels good, and doesn't completely drain the bank account.

Left to my own devices, I would have four or five soft shirts, jeans or yoga pants. Fuzzy socks. 
I am told that this is not professional attire.

Perhaps if I switch to a career with a uniform...

Until then, I have to go shopping from time to time. Today I managed to hurt my rotator cuff. Somehow I doubt I can call that a sports injury.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Making Home

I'm a lousy housekeeper. I don't necessarily notice messes, and even when I see them, well, I'd rather read a book than tidy things.

But I am not without some domestic graces. I can cook and bake up a storm, and generally I can keep us in clean clothes and such.

Today was my day off from church work. I relaxed most of the morning, and then managed the following:

  • Hard boiled eggs (14 of them did not make their own sculpture in the boiling water)
  • Sourdough, transformed into rolls for dinner, and this many-layered cinnamon bread
  • Pinto beans, cooked up from scratch, which were then split between charro beans and venison chili
  • Delish Swiss chard (because there has to be some vegetable to counter the cinnamon bread...)
  • Two loads of laundry, washed and folded
And I managed to have conversations with everyone I live with.  Bills and paperwork (and tidying) will wait for another day.

Stop Making Sense*

11 PM on a Sunday night and I'm starting tomorrow's sourdough bread.

Bread making is not efficient. It takes hours and hours. Sourdough especially.
It's not the easiest of things either--it's persnickety and requires attention.

I could go to the store and for less than $5 get a lovely loaf--probably more consistent than my batches have been thus far. (Yes, my ingredients are less expensive. Until you add in the time and effort, and having to do dishes.)

It would be sensible enough for me to give up this hobby, to spend the time more appropriately--catching up on housekeeping, remembering the dry cleaning, becoming a well-rounded person, or you know, sleeping.

But sometimes life isn't about a direct goal or what is most efficient and obvious. You might need to follow a passion, to have a place for experiments and growth. It may or may not make sense on paper.

This is true of our church lives as well. For all that it's good to have a clear mission and a long-term plan, there will come opportunities, relationships, passions. I find that these often come as interruptions, often in the middle of a hectic afternoon/week/year. It may very well be more sensible to stay the course, to say "that's a lovely idea, but we don't have the capacity for it right now." To give the short greeting and have every intention of getting back to that person later. All the things that create community.

What is rising in your soul?

*Yep, I just referenced a thirty-year old Talking Heads movie. Goofball Gen-Xer...

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Evangelizing vs. Proselytizing

Evangelize: To spread the good word

Proselytize: Covert or attempt to convert someone to your belief or ideas

I am all about the evangelizing. There's a whole lot of good in the world and we should be willing to share it.

Proselytizing gets old really fast, though.

We're planning to replace some windows at home, and getting bids from a few companies.

Silly me, I thought this would be fairly easy--they come and measure the windows, show us some options, and we figure out what we can afford.

As it turns out, they bring samples and brochures and tell us about the benefits of the thingamabobs and the whoseewhatsits.

OK, I'm good with education.  (Though honestly, I'd rather just look at the website and read some reviews, then come to the person with my questions.)

And then the SALES part comes in. I understand that they are selling a product and they work on commission and the bottom line is important. And yes, they would love to make a deal. Today.

Here's where it turns to proselytizing. How they are the sensible option, how their competitors are horribly flawed, how Any Intelligent Person would obviously insist on the whoseehatsits.

High pressure sales do not encourage me to make a decision beyond "I need this person as far away from me and my checkbook as possible."

Pray for me.

Friday, February 6, 2015


Last week's impatience involved this Christmas cactus that was budding but not blooming.

It's in full bloom now.

It's winter in Houston, a most confusing time for outdoor plants. Our azalea bushes will put out their full color on a warm day, only to have the temp drop twenty degrees at night.

I saw dandelions today--not just blooming ones, but the ka-blooming ones, ready to send their white fluff far afield.

We've been promised a few days of spring weather, while yet another snowstorm settles in up North. My impatience, I know, can't hold a candle to those who've been snowed in.

Thursday, February 5, 2015


This morning I got a Facebook message. Usually this makes a chime noise--today it was three chimes in a quick echo.

Stranger still, my computer screen revealed a blank chat box. Reloading the page didn't seem to help.

I grabbed my phone and things there worked fine. I responded, then heard the triple chime again.

A few minutes into the (noisy!) conversation I realized I had three browser windows open, each with Facebook and some other tabs.

Not only does that explain the echo, but the sluggish response. Thankfully, it was a quick enough fix to close some windows and tabs.

And yet so often I have a dozen tabs open, on top of five documents and three spreadsheets and whatnot.  

My computer is as cluttered as that photo of Einstein's desk, and it's not simply a sign of my genius. It's more about things I keep meaning to get around to, of intentions rather than actions. I know any number of strategies to avoid the trap--I just need to use them.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Finally Sofritas!

I've been waiting months and months to try Chipotle's sofritas. The local store was slow to get them, and then we just had to find an occasion... 

Tonight a 4:30 appointment took until 7, so oh darn--no time to make dinner. We simply HAD to go to Chipotle.

The tofu is nice and firm--they say it's shredded, but I would just call it scrambled. The spice level is great, but the salt seemed over the top. According to Chipotle's nutrition calculator , it has 555 mg of sodium--more than any of the meats. (It also has more fat than most of the other proteins, excepting the carnitas.)

It goes well with the guacamole, and gives me some ideas for creating a similar dish at home.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Vaccines, Guns, and Seat Belts

"I've heard of many tragic cases of walking, talking, normal children, who wound up with profound mental disorders after vaccines." - Rand Paul, ophthalmologist

If we replace "vaccines" with "handgun accident", how does that change the conversation and the risk?

I am amazed (but am glad) that we have managed to legislate seat belt and car seat usage so widely, given the energy behind other risky behaviors. Heaven knows, seat belts are not without adverse effects, and they definitely impact personal freedom.

Real life, however, rarely lines up neatly on a continuum, and indeed, there's rarely only one axis.

Monday, February 2, 2015

True Reasons I Have Done Chores

I know there are people in the world who take pleasure in a clean house and the knowledge of a chore well done. 

Me, I can deal with a fair amount of chaos as long as I can find something I want to read, there's room for a nap, and I have some way to make coffee.

And then there are the motivating factors for doing my chores. Among them:

1) All my pajamas were in the dirty wash, and I really wanted a jama day.

Covered in warm laundry, 2/2/15
2) Someone on the Internet claimed I could easily clean my oven glass, and I had to prove their method wrong.

3) Laundry fresh from the dryer is an extra blanket of warmth. (This one works best when you can convince someone else to fetch the clothes from the dryer and dump them all over you.)

4) Procrastination. 

What motivates you to clean?

Sunday, February 1, 2015

The Report of My Perfection Was an Exaggeration.

I had a major fail today.  

The turkey. 

After a few days of defrosting and a dry brine, I put it in the oven to roast... and it came out horrible. I do not know if it was a freezer burn issue or it was bad before or after the freezer, but it was Not Good. 

And I found this out about an hour before the start of our Super Bowl party.  

As I broke the news to my spouse, I was sort of struggling not to scream. Instead I just had to laugh. Maybe a little hysterically. 

Then I found my shoes, got in the car, and went to the grocery store that was nearly day-before-a-hurricane busy. Marinated chicken fajitas and tortillas--mischief managed.

I got home and the turkey was still far too hot to toss. I considered a shroud. Yes, I mourned an entree.

Spouse made this note instead, reasoning that we didn't want our guests inadvertently snitching a taste.

In the end we had plenty of food and everyone was happy. And soon enough one of our younger guests put a pic of the turkey on Snapchat. "Miss Katy! Twenty-three people viewed my story!"