Thursday, April 24, 2014

Creating, maintaining, letting go

I put a lot of effort into researching the perfect reusable calendar to hang in my kitchen!
It has little dials to change the month and the days--so clever!
Repeating appointments can stay on the calendar!
A cork strip at the bottom means I can put important documents and such right there!
It will be so easy to keep track of life!

So said my January 2012 self. I bought it and got it ALL set up. I even had color-coding!
February and March and April and May, I was all over updating that calendar!
So efficient and clear was I!
At a glance every member of the home could know the plan!

Then I forgot to change it in June. And July. And August...and the rest of 2012.
And all of 2013.
And JanuaryFebruaryMarchApril 2014.
From time to time I would glance at the calendar and feel bad.
More shame than guilt.
That paralysis made me even less likely to fix things.

I have a feeling I'm not the only one to fall into these less-than-useful patterns.

This morning I took a few deep breaths and determined to move ahead.
I took a few minutes to remember how to make the little dials work.
I figured out which of those repeating appointments even still happen on those days of the month. Or happen at all.

Maintaining the old is far less exciting than making something new. The realization that the task might be neverending? That's daunting.

But if we can make it a habit, remembering that this is important even if it is not so novel? That is meaningful.

And then there's the flipside--what do we do when the cultivated habit is no longer important? Do we hold on for dear life, going through the motions for tradition's sake? Or do we celebrate the accomplishment and then move our energy to somewhere new?

At some point I might get my digital calendar just right and shared with the rest of my family, instantly accessible. I'll be happy to reclaim the wall space--maybe put up a lovely poster or a mirror for last-minute "Did you comb your hair/put on necklace" checks. 

For now the calendar still has a purpose. 
If I can remember to update it. 

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