Nick Hornby's How To Be Good is the story of a woman in a certain amount of existential crisis, too caught in the busyness of professional/mother/wife to deal with it all. She feels guilty that her biggest moral lessons are coming from The Empire Strikes Back-
I wanted to be Luke Skywalker, off somewhere on my own, learning to be a Jedi. I wanted a break from the war. I wanted someone wise to teach me how to do the things I needed to know to survive the rest of my life.
Like many people who are in a time of transition or struggling with something in their lives, the protagonist heads to a church. Soon after she encounters the vicar and demands guidance. When the minister doesn't give a quick and simple answer, she lashes out-
God, why are you people so timid? It's no wonder the churches are empty,when you can't answer the simplest questions. Don't you get it? That's what we want. Answers. If we wanted woolly minded nonsense we'd stay at home. In our own heads.
Yeowza. That stung a bit.
What might you say if someone walked into your church on any given Sunday (or Tuesday!) and demanded answers in such a way?